Thinkgeek Starts Aprils Fools Early

Every year ThinkGeek posts some cool shit for April Fools Day and this year is no different. Check out some of that phat lewt!

Grow Your Own 1up Mushroom Kit
Deep in the basement of an ancient house in Sonobe (tucked in the fields of Kyoto, Japan), an amazing discovery has been made: real 1up Mushrooms. We know this sounds unbelievable, and we laughed when we were contacted by an exporter about them two months ago. But then we were sent a sample, and that's when our lives changed forever….

USB Desktop Tanning Center
Here at ThinkGeek, we fully understand the sun isn't always your best friend. But, unlike vampire rats, the sun is not PURE evil. It does have a few redeeming qualities. Like sunspots and eclipses. It's also used to grow your own 1up Mushrooms. Some people even tunnel sun rays through a magnifying glass to set leaves, insects and ladyfingers in a glorious blaze. One of the strangest qualities of the Sun, however, is that it can make the color of your skin change. And while it is very dangerous to the cells in your epidermis, this practice of changing ones skin color purportedly makes you more socially acceptable in general and desireable to the opposite sex. What geek doesn't want that?..

iZilla Media Monster
Tromping through the streets of downtown Tokyo… crunching tiny white audio players underfoot comes the iZilla. If you've been looking to step-up to a hungry man sized portable media player with incredible tech powers… this is it. First start with a whopping two terabytes of storage delivered by four 500 gig internal hard drives. Up the ante with a sweet 7" TFT-LCD touch screen… then crush your opponents with high-speed ripping capability for CD, DVD, and vinyl. A handy iPod® dock allows you to transfer songs to and from the iZilla…..

Wireless Extension Cords
Because technology is constantly changing, one of the greatest tools to the do-it-yourselfer is the extension cord. Now you can put anything in any room you want – even outside. Every once in a while, though, a long cord across the floor can be more dangerous than helpful. Sure you could just put a carpet or tape over the cord, but why bother? Let technology solve its own problems. Grab some Wireless Extension Cords, and leave the wires where they belong – somewhere else!..

Final Fantasy XIII a PS3 Exclusive?

According to the upcoming issue of EGM, there is a distinct possiblity that Final Fantasy XIII will be a PS3 exclusive. We will find out in May at E3 wether or not this is the case. If it is true, this is yet another PS3 exclusive that I want and will be actively tracking. Either way, I will be following this game.

As of right now, the XBox 360 has only two exclusives that have me interested. Those are Blue Dragon and Lost Odyssey. The reason I am excited for those is because it is being worked on by Hironobu Sakaguchi and Akira Toriyama and pretty much anything they touch turns to gold. While there are some interesting titles coming out for the 360, all of the ones I am tracking save for the previous two are also either on the PC or PS3 which means I don't need an XBox 360 for them.

I have poured over the upcoming titles list for all three next-gen consoles and the PS3 is still on the top of my wanted list when it comes to titles. However, the Revolution is damn close due to its Virtual Console and the library of NES/SNES/Genesis/TG-16 games as well as the low price point. There is no doubt whatsoever that I will own it, but PS3 is where my primary desire remains.

EDIT – Fucking April Fools Day!!

EDIT 2 – Is it a joke or not!!! 

Massive Linkage!

Windows XP: Get Updates No Matter What
A cool little trick that allows you to go to Windows Updates and actually run updates even if you do not have a valid windows CD key.

The alternative is to turn out automatic updates which will also install them without a key. Either way, this is a neat little hack.

Mozilla thanks Microsoft for its monopolistic tactics
Blake Ross posted on his blog basically thanking Microsoft for its tyrannical tactics in the marketplace. It is a pretty good read even though it is obviously sarcastic.

Apple Heroes and Villains
Wired News put together a cool photo album of all the people in Apple's history as well as why they were important.

Steve Jobs' Best Quotes Ever
Keeping on the topic of Apple, they also put together a list of the best quotes from Apple CEO Steve Jobs.

Zelda Pacman
Just what the title says. A cool little version of Pacman based on The Legend of Zelda: A link to the past.

SpoofStick
This is a damn good Firefox Extension I came across that allows you to easily distinguish between phishing sites and legit ones. Considering they are getting more and more sophesticated and realistic, it is harder and harder to tell. This extension obviously doesn't replace vigilance and knowledge, but it is well worth installing.

Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion Mods
Planet Elder Scrolls already has a large amount of mods for Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. There are quite a few good ones and I have already installed like 10 or 11.

The Dangers of Monogamey
An interesting article regarding World of Warcraft and how it is contributing to the death of PC gaming. While I do not necessarily agree with him, he does indeed bring up some valid points.

PlanetSide Goes Free
The SOE First Person Shooter MMORPG PlanetSide has gone from paid to free. This seems to be the newest trend that began with Anarchy Online and has also affected Shadowbane.

The game is actually pretty cool and has gotten much better since its initial release (which sucked). While I would not play it again, it is well worth a couple of weeks of time.

New Game Videos Website
This site is just awesome. It has tons of video game related videos ranging from trailers, to shows to my current addicition, RETRO!

Office Massacre Game Announced
Office Massacre from UK-based Alten8 is a first-person cartoon shooter, in which players kill workmates and bosses in a bloody "spree".

Do you hear that? That is the sound of Jack Thompson pleasuring himself at the thought of a new target!

GameTap now $9.95/month; GameTap TV announced
I gave Gametap a try when it first came out. It really is an awesome service but at the time, I could not justify the $15 a month for the limited library.

However, with this new price point and their ever expanding library of great titles, I am very much tempted to re-activate my account.

Star Wars Kid is Suing Classmates for $160,000
I can kind of see the kids point because I am sure that the infamous Star Wars video has made his life a living hell. However, if you are stupid enough to let yourself be caught on film doing something like that, it is your own fucking fault.

Life Update

So a few people have been E-mailing me asking how things are going so I thought I would give a quick update.

I feel better than last week but I am still fairly "fuck you" in general. I had a meeting with HR yesterday at work which went rather well and we now have the ball rolling on the paper work. I have to see a therapist today to make sure I get "approved" for Short Term.

I have been neglecting my Portable Gaming Revolution duties although I informed by ZW and Dasme that I would be taking some time away from it. I have not looked at the front page or even really the forums all week so I do not really know what is going on.

I have not even kept up with gaming, movie or news in general and I am only keeping track of a handful of sites via RSS (maybe 10). It is quite refreshing not having to worry about it right now, although I am by no means leaving the site staff. I will probably start posting there next week again.

Other than that, I am pretty much just hanging back, playing games and watching movies. I am ostensibly playing 3 games at the moment (Dungeon Siege, Oblivion and Kings Field: The Ancient City), but obviously I am really only playing Oblivion. I have gotten some time in Kings Field since I started but not much.

I have also caught up somewhat on my downloaded videos. I finished off Neon Genesis Evangelion finally and watched the two movies as well (Death and Rebirth, End of Evangelion). This is an anime series I had been meaning to watch for litterally years but never got a chance until now. I am now watching FLCL which is another one I have heard a lot about and I just have to say that it is easily the weirdest fucking anime series I have seen in a long time. I am not sure if I like it or not right now, but since it is only six episodes, I will finish it off.

I also finally worked my way through my Blockbuster Online movies I had sitting around and already have 2 of the 3 new ones. Which ones I couldn't say as I haven't even opened them yet.

So yeah, there is your update. Suck it down!

Wednesday Videos

Half Life 2 – Banana Phone
A hilarious take on the Internet phenomenon Banana Phone using the Half Life 2 engine. I lost it at the Karate kick myself

Nintendo Sixty-FOOOOOOOOOOUR
This kid goes nuts when he gets a Nintendo 64 for Christmas. Looking back you may wonder why the hell he was so excited, but at the time of its release, the N64 was an amazing console.

Zelda Movie Trailer
A independent Zelda film based off of the video game, "The Ocarina of Time". The movie is supposed to be released this fall and already looks to own anything released by Dr. Boll.

Two Horrible, Horrible Zelda Endings
On the subject of Zelda, Kotaku has posted the endings to the two universally agreed upon to be shite, CD-i Zelda games. For those who do not know, when Philips released the CD-i console, they had a deal with Nintendo to use a number of Nintendo characters including Zelda. So they made these games without ANY input from the big N and god did they suck. Just watch and try not to eviscerate yourself in the process.

G4 Clip: Icons "Sega Dreamcast
G4 Icons is one of the only good shows still on G4 and I have a few of them downloaded (My favorite is still Icons of Doom). This is the show based on the amazing Dreamcast machine. It is such a shame that this console did not stick around because it was far ahead of its time and blew away the competition. I do still have one although I have not used it in some time. I plan to pull it back out soon and start playing my old emulated NES/SNES/SMS/Genesis games on it. Anyway, check out the show.

House of Cosby's
Episode one of the ill-fated House of Cosby's which was pulled due to a cease and desist order from Bill Cosby. The show is fucking hilarious and you can download all 4 episodes at the official site. Also check out the soundboard here.

Half Life 1 Trailer
In the realm of retro, here is the original trailer for Half Life. Most of the things you see here never made it to the final cut, but it is still cool to see it again. I remember being so pumped for this game based on this trailer and while the final product was not what I saw initially, I was far from disappointed (save for that shitty ending).

Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning
An independent film parody of Babylon 5, Star Trek and Sci-Fi in general. The movie is hilarious and the special effects are actually pretty damn good. This is a full length film so you might want to download it and watch it when you have some free time (If you ask me how to download, you haven't been paying attention to these video posts in the past).

Basashi
I posted in my MGS 3: Subsistence post that there were a large amount of hilarious videos available on Secret Theater. Basashi (aka Snake Horse Eater) is one of those videos.

Monday Morning Linkage

Indescribable DS stylus
Umm…Wow. This has to be the weirdest fucking stylus evar. Of course, something like this would NEVER hit the US, but if you have a hard-on (pun intended) for Phallus-shaped styluses, I am sure you can import it.

The Many Adventures of Link (Part 2)
Part 2 of the History of Link. You can read part 1 here.

Elder Scrolls IV in Panoramic
These panoramic scans show just how gorgeous this game really is in a way that screenshots cannot show.

Japanese Retailers Selling Xbox 360 For Under $170?
Just goes to show you how shitty the 360 is doing over in Japan. Microsoft really dropped the ball with the Japanese launch in a worse way than the original XBox Launch. Microsoft should have known that the Japanese flat out do not like the XBox and probably never will.

More 80's Commercials
I love when X-entertainment does these 80 commerical retrospectives. I have downloaded everyone of them from each post as it is no secret I am a whore for 80's and 90's nostalgia.

Death Star Home Theater
Anytime you think you are a true Star Wars geek, remember something like this.

Oblivion = teh pwn

I have to say that I am completely taken aback by just how good Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion is. I was leery about the over zealous reviews as they were very similar to Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind which I was not a big fan of. However, Oblivion does indeed live up to the hype.

I did not intend to purchase this game as I already have a backlog of games I am nearly through. However, a good friend of mine bought it and let me borrow and install it so I could play it as well. I was getting hungry and needed to check my mail, so I finally log out of the game only to realize I was playing for 5 and 1/2 hours straight. I fully intend to go back in once I eat and do some other things.

Contrary to previews that I had read, the game does indeed run well even if you do not meet the recommended specifications. I am a good deal above the minimum but do not reach recommended status and I can play the game with very little lag (save for massive battles). The game does indeed look gorgeous and I can only imagine what it would look like with all the effects turned on.

Why is this so much better than Morrowind? The answer is actually quite simple. Unlike Morrowind, Oblivion lets you know what the hell you are supposed to be doing to complete the game. While it does have a sandbox factor to it, the main quest is obvious to you and you know at all times where to go next to advance it. Whether or not you do so is entirely up to you so it still has the free roaming aspect, but unlike Morrowind, the player is not overwhelmed with "Where the fuck do I go now!"

I could go on and on about the great things in Oblivion so it is easier to say in short: Oblivion = teh pwn and I believe I will be spending the next 40-60 hours engrossed in this world with my Orc MageKnight. I highly recommend picking this game up if you are an RPG fan, you won't be disappointed.

UPDATE – Assuming I do not log back in, I have clocked in over 9 and ahalf hours on this fucking game in one day. That hasn't happened to me since EQII last year. Damn this game is too good.

UPDATE 2 – Tack on another 3 hours. I woke up at around 12a and then played until 3a and went back to bed. Now I woke up this morning with a HUGE headache. Apparently I am getting too old to be doing this anymore.

Massive Link Dump

I haven’t posted links lately and built up quite a few for your reading pleasure. I had a few more, but they are apparently down right now probably due to being digg or slashdot fucked.

Interview: (Possible) World’s Largest Video Game Collection Owner
I posted awhile back about this guy with the huge video game collection. Well, RedWolf over at the always entertaining Vintage Computing and Gaming blog posted an interview with the guy.

Gaming now and then
A very cool look at how games have changed over the past 20 years using side by side screenshot comparisons.

Schilling Grabs Endorsement, Stepping Over Teammates’ Bodies
A funny little story about real-life revenge on the baseball field against an Everquest act of cowardice.

The Elder Scrolls: To Oblivion and Back UGO’s Elder Scrolls Retrospective
An interesting retrospective of the long running Elder Scrolls series due to the recent release of Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

Top 10 Tuesday: RPG Clichés
This week’s IGN top 10 focuses on the top 10 RPG cliches. Anyone who has played RPG’s for any amount of time has encountered every one of them.

The Many Adventures of Link: Part 1
Another interesting retrospective, this time focusing on the history of the character Link from the Zelda series.

Game Ads A-Go-Go: Guys Freakin’ Out
Redwolf also does a column for Game Set Watch about vintage gaming ads. As you all know, I have a huge collection of vintage computer and video game magazines dating back to the late 80’s so I always love this column. I actually remember all of these ads as well.

‘South Park’ Responds: Chef’s Goose Is Cooked
I meant to post about this when it originally happened but I am sure you heard about it anyway. Isaac Hayes left South Park over a reported dispute over the show’s views on religon. We won’t get into it here, but suffice to say, it was a bullshit reason. Trey Parker and Matt Stone retaliated on a hastily put together episode of South Park featuring the death of Chef. As usual, it was fucking hilarious

MMO griefer crucified in public spectacle
Don’t you just love it when griefer’s get what they deserve?

Atheists identified as America’s most distrusted minority
Amazing that the nations with the highest levels of religious people and the most religious intollerance also have the highest rates of violence in the world. Whatever, fuck all of you too

Oblivion = Boring?

The guys at Penny Arcade possibly seem to think so…

I’m not even comfortable referring to the Elder Scrolls games as RPGs, and not just because the term has been so depleted. I think we call them that because we don’t have an umbrella term that means “fantasy sandbox.” It isn’t just a role-playing game where you have some leeway about which plot node fires next – genuine liberty is omnipresent. Grand Theft Auto is considered a “sandbox game,” but your relationship with that environment isn’t particularly granular. I won’t linger too long on the pun – but imagine your alter-ego making explosives out of cleaners he bought in the supermarket.

The almost unlimited functionality definitely activates some hoarding response in my brain, so that if I don’t pick up every dusty scapula with a shred of flesh still clinging I get terribly agitated. I stood in a cold dungeon for almost ten minutes before I could build up the strength to discard some rat meat. That isn’t their fault, of course. You don’t lose points for increasing player freedom to psychologically devastating levels. I was not aware that OCD was something you could “catch,” but I’m beginning to think that I’ve got a bad case.

It sounds like Oblivion might fall into the same trap that Morrowind did which is give you so much freedom it gets boring. Morrowind was heralded by fans and critics alike for it’s open ended gameplay yet desite this, I do not know one person who has made it more than 20 hours into it (With most people clocking in at around 10).

Oh well, there is always Final Fantasy XII waiting for me..

Akira Kurosawa was a god

I never cease to be impressed when I watch any Akira Kurosawa film. I have seen perhaps 20 or so of his films and every one of them is amazing. Out of my top 10 favorite films of all time, 4 are by him (Kagemusha, Yojimbo, Seven Samurai, and The Hidden Fortress). The man was a visual genius with his use of wide shots, panning, slow-motion and such. I just finished re-watching The Hidden Fortress which is what made me think to make this post.

Seriously, if you have never seen an Akira Kurosawa film, you owe it to yourself to do so. I would recommend making Seven Samurai your first selection. The movie has been remade a few times (The Magnificent Seven, Samurai 7) for good reason. In reality though, any Kurosawa film is worth watching.

Revolution is going to be the shit..

I make no secret of the fact that I am eagerly anticpating the Nintendo Revolution. Perhaps more so than the PS3. The fact that the entire NES and SNES library would be available for download in addition to full backwards compatiblity with Gamecube and a low price point (Estimated $150 to $250 at launch) means that it is a nostalgic gamers dream.

Well it was announced at GDC today that not only will the SNES/NES library be available, but it will also have 1,000 Genesis games and an undisclosed number of TurboGrafix 16 games.

So this means that the Revolution will play:
SNES Games
NES Games
Revolution Games
Gamecube Games
Genesis Games
TurboGrafix 16 Games

Is there any reason not to own this console? I think not. Hopefully it will launch in June as analysts are speculating.

I am still wanting a PS3 (Especially now that it is region-free, has an XBox type Live (free!) service and has full PSP connectivity and support), but I will not buy one at launch. Revolution will be mine on day one. Oh yes….it will be mine.

Video Dump!

Gamers Getting Pwned!
This video shows you why you do not piss off characters in your video games. It isn’t funny until near the end so stick it out.

Live Action Final Fantasy
An awesome live action version of Final Fantasy VII (Why the fuck does everyone choose VII, it is NOT the best in the series!!). Either way, it is still amusing for RPG fans and goes to show that there are indeed dorkier people on this earth than I.

God Of War 2 Trailer
If you are a gamer and have not played God of War you really should. It was by far one of, if not THE, best games of 2005. David Jaffe (the creator) has said that this one will be even better and unlike most developer idiots, I believe him. This trailer looks fucking awesome and I cannot wait for this game.

Tom Cruise At Yahoo Campus
I hate Tom Cruise. I mean I really do. The guy is an egotistical, overacting, idiot. However, I do find it amusing how people go nuts over seeing him and to see someone at their place of business act like a fucking retard is funny. If I was there, I would have sucker punched that bitch in the face, but oh well.

Bill Gates At Mix06
Say what you want about the guy, but he has a great sense of humor. I personally kinda like Bill Gates and always have. I admire anyone who has the balls to do what he did back in the day to get where he is. Additionally, the guy is a huge philanthropist (more so than many people realize) so it isn’t like he is a “Fuck you all!!” rich guy. Anyway, this is a video of Bill poking fun at himself during the Mix06 conference.

Duke Nukem Forever From The Past
Hot on the heels of the announced Duke Nukem Forever sequel (Whose link I am unable to locate at the moment), Kotaku has put together two E3 videos of the 8 or 9 year delayed Duke Nukem Forever which also had a announcement. Why do they not just give up?

Watch Hasbro TV Shows Online
Hasbro has made a large chunk of their TV shows available for viewing online. These include G.I. Joe, Beast Wars, Nerf, Transformers and more. Now that I have so much time available, I believe I will be watching many of these.

Well this is interesting…

So as I stated previously, I intentionally moved away from the “This is what my life is..” postings as I honestly find them to be annoying and the internet is polluted with them. While there are a handful of people doing it that I can stand (Jaded, Yabo, and uhh…) for the most part, I fucking hate them. So I feel somewhat stupid making this post, to those who read this blog and are friends or mine, something has happened recently that is fairly major.

One thing that I have not told many people is that I have been in an escalating mental health downward spiral. I can assure you that none of you who know me have seen me this bad (save for TJ) as I have not been this bad since I was first diagnosed as Bipolar. At that time, I had for all intents and purposes alientaed all my friends and was flying solo.

So because of this, I have not been medicated for over a month. Many of you understand the importance of that statement. To be honest, I am sick and fucking tired of living my life ona ntipsychotic drugs (Lithium is NOT enjoyable) and I want off. I cannot remember what life is like prior to the drugs, but I do remember that I was a different person. I was outgoing, friendly and happy. I have been none of those in years.

So what is “Interesting” as the title of the post suggests? Well, work called me in yesterday for a meeting. This meeting ended up being a conference between me, my manager and my HR Rep. I was informed in no unclear terms that I am now officially out of work until a therapist has deemed it appropriate for me to return. I was honestly worried that this might mean my job is in danger, but I was assured that this is not the case. I am being put on Short Term Disablilty (full pay) and FMLA protects my job.

I am not sure how to feel about this. To be 100% honest, part of me looks forward to this time off. However, I am a work-a-holic and very much prone to Karoshi so I also feel terrible about being out of work because I am depended upon for a LOT of work. I feel like I am abondoning my team and my responsibilities and this is not something that you just “get over”.

My manager (who is the coolest mother fuckering manager on earth) has basically said that he does not care about that and he wants me to get better first. One thing that I was surprised by was that HR is apparently concerned for the saftey of the OTHER people I work with. Based on some of the things said in this meeting, I get the impression that some of the people on my team went to HR as they were afraid of me. I cannot blame them, nor can I say their fears are unfounded. I am an extremely violent person right now and I have done things of late that I will not relate here that would confirm that fact.

So now I wonder what I am going to do with all of this time off. I have mandatory consuling of which I do not yet know the frequency (Weekly? Twice a week?), but other than that, the only instructions from my manager is “focus on getting yourself better”. This is a fairly overwhelming proposition. I have nothing but time now for at least 2-3 weeks and possibliy a month or two. I have a lot of games to play and movies to watch, but how long can that last?

Well anyway, that is the big news of the…well year I guess. On that note, I am going to make some breakfast.

Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

While I am admittedly eagerly wanting this game, I am knowledgeable enough to know that even though I meet the “miniumum system requirements”, my computer cannot handle the game.

This has lead me to have my first desires for an XBox 360. However, I will not buy one as there are still only two exclusive games (remember Oblivion is not an exclusive) that I am interested in whereas the PS3 has about 8 at last count.

Either way, this comic is fucking hilarious and you all know that I would possibly do something like this for some games.

Wednesday Linkage

Penny Arcade Podcast
Looks like Gabe and Tycho have finally put out their own podcast. As some of you know, I am a total Podcast and Videocast whore having nearly 30 subscriptions so I do not bother adding another if it isn’t good. Admittedly, the sound quality on this one isn’t great, but they have said they will make it better next time as well as adding an RSS feed for it. However, If you are a fan of Penny Arcade, this is a must have and will be added to my rotation.

Starforce enforces DRM by instant reboot (without warning)
As many of you know, I hate Starforce and am one of the many people who boycott it. Well this is just another reason to say FUCK YOU STARFORCE!

In short, the newest Starforce DRM involves installing very invasive drivers on your PC and anytime the software detects something it doesn’t like, it reboots your computer without even asking! You got open documents or webpages? Tough shit – they are gone.

This is a must read for anyone who uses their computer often as this does not just apply to games since Starforce is now being used for regular applications as well.

Desktop Earth 2.0
I came across this awesome live desktop wallpaper yesterday. It does not require Active Desktop to be active nor does it install any spyware or bloatware.

It is simply a wallpaper that displays an accurate representation of the Earth as it would be seen from space at that precise moment. While it may not sound cool, it really is awesome especially if you are running dual monitors as I am.

Lego Aircraft Carrier
The title pretty much sums up this cool link. It is a HUGE aircraft carrier made entirely out of Legos. I am always impressed by the creativity of people.

Speaking of Metal Gear…

Looks like I am not the only one playing.

Play classic NES Games in your browser!

At Arcade.com
This site has a number of the classic NES games that are free to play in your browser. Sure, these are all available via Emulation and ROM’s but this way you do not have to load any software on your work computer and try to close it when your boss comes up to your desk.

Monday Videos

Mario and Zelda Big Band Life
This is a fairly long video, but it well worth it. It is live performances of Mario and Zelda music arranged into jazz, Latin, country, and bluegrass along with a guitar arrangement of the Super Mario Bros. “main theme” and “underworld theme”.

Muay Thai vs. Capoeria Fight
This is one of the best fight scenes from Tony Jaa’s film Tom yum goong. The music does not really fit the scene (and is not in the movie itself) but it is still a fucking awesome fight. If you haven’t seen the movie – download it now.

Karate Bloopers
This is a hilarious anti-drug commercial. I recall seeing this on TV so I am unsure about the whole “Banned” thing. It is still one of the better commercials of these types though.

Video Game Theater
I cannot sum this up any better than the person who uploaded this did:

Who knew Pac-Man was a junkie and wife-beater? Or that Frogger is a terrorist, and Donkey Kong and Mario are pitted in an epic manage-a-trois of princess passion?

Fucking hilarious

Karate Cop
Short but funny.

Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence

Ok, so my Limited Edition Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence pre-order came in yesterday. Now those who know me know that I am very anal about my purchases and I rarely ever buy brand new video games. Generally, I just do not see the value in paying $50 for a game I will beat in 8-12 hours. So this means I generally wait for the title to hit “Greatest Hits” status ($19.99) or buy them used.

However, there is the odd game that I will buy at launch because I honestly believe it is worth it. This year there are only four titles that fall into that category: Final Fantasy XII, Xenosaga Episode III, Phantasy Star Universe, and of course Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence.

Due to my working graveyard shift, I order things to be delivered rather than going to pick them up because most places do not open until 10a and I am nearing bed time around then. So my game finally arrived yesterday (well actually Friday, but I didn’t get it from the front office until Saturday after work) and holy shit…

So you may be wondering, “Jak, why the fuck would you buy this game again when you already own Metal Gear Solid 3″? This re-release contains so much extra content as well as changes to the base game itself that quite simply; this is not the same game.

This review is based on about 5 hours of hands on-time with the game (Not including the time spent watching the pre-order bonus) as well as knowledge of the original Snake Eater which I have beaten a couple of times.

Disc 1 – Subsistence
Subsistence contains the entire Metal Gear Solid 3 game with a few notable changes.

The first change is that there are now 6 levels of difficulty at the start of the game including the European Extreme mode which means that if you are seen, the game ends. Really hard and I said fuck it after 30 minutes.

Next you will see an additional few questions that were not on the original. If you recall you were asked “What is your favorite Metal Gear Solid game”. If you had selected “I like MGS2!!” you had the bonus of the opening intro showing snake wearing a mask of Raiden (an in-joke for fans). Well in this one there are three additional questions:

I Like Metal Gear!!
I Like Metal Gear 2!!
I Like Metal Gear Solid 3!!

If you select “I like Metal Gear Solid 3″ it opens up the secret theater mode in disc 2 (More on that later). Not sure what the others do at the moment.

Next, this edition contains all of the face paint and camo outfits that were included as downloadable content in the PAL versions of the game. These are already available at the start of the game and some of them (like the above) are really fucking cool. However, upon using them they are more detrimental than useful as they really hinder up your camo level.

The most hyped change though is the addition of a new camera mode and rightfully so. In all previous Metal Gear Solid games, the camera was a semi-top down view with fairly limited mobility. Long time fans got used to this and it didn’t really bother us much, but people who were used to other stealth games did not like it. Subsistence has added a third-person camera that is centered behind snake and completely controllable. It is a really neat addition and completely changes the mechanics of the game.

There is also a demo theater mode that is unlocked upon completion of the game. You cannot use previous MGS3 saves, which is kind of lame, but I do not mind too much.This demo mode allows you to view any cut-scene in the game as well as modify them as you wish. If you want to see your favorite cut scene with Snake wearing a different face paint or outfit, you can do it. I cannot wait to check it out and see what I can come up with.

Disc 2 – Persistence
Now in my opinion, this disc is the entire reason to buy this game. It contains Metal Gear Online, the REAL versions of Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake, Secret Theater mode, and Snake vs. Monkey.

Metal Gear Online is something I have yet to try out simply because I do not have a long enough Ethernet cable to go from my computer room to my PS2. However, I will get this rectified soon and jump online to give it a shot. For all the info on this mode, check the official site.

Next is what I would consider my favorite part of the entire collection, the inclusion of the real Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2 for the MSX. These are the real version of the games that never made it to the states.Metal Gear was ported to the NES and it was so completely destroyed that series creator Hideo Kojima has disowned it. As far as Metal Gear 2, it has never been available overseas until now. The version we saw (Snake’s revenge) is non-canon and Kojima had nothing to do with it

I am currently working my way through Metal Gear right now and cannot wait to play Metal Gear 2. it is highly addicting, with a completely re-written english translation (no more “I FEEL ASLEEP!”) that really fleshes out the story of Solid Snake.

Secret Theater Mode is another addition, this one being unlocked by choosing “I like MGS3″ on the Subsistence disc and then saving a game. This section features a ton of extra cut-scenes that never made it into the final version. It also contains a number of hilarious scenes involving everyone’s favorite joke Raiden from MGS2.

These movies are priceless and include such videos as “Metal Gear Raiden: Snake Eraser” which involves Raiden going back in time to Metal Gear Solid 3 and attempting to assassinate Big Boss. This way, Solid Snake does not kick Raiden out of the Main character’s chair in Metal Gear Solid 4.

To be fair, if you are not a fan of the series, the majority of these jokes will make no sense. However, long time fans are sure to laugh their ass off.

The final addition is improvements and additions to the the mini-game Snake vs. Monkey. I have not tried this yet and did not play it on the original so I cannot offer any info about it save for the official website

Disc 3 – Existence (Limited Edition Only)
Existence is available only when you purchase the limited edition, which to my knowledge was sold out about a week or two after you were able to pre-order. This disc is essentially a 3.5 hour long movie of all of the cut-scenes from Snake Eater. They are re-edited and in some cases re-dubbed to flow better as it eliminates codec sequences as well as most of the in-game engine sequences.

You will notice I said “most of the in-game..” which means that Existence splices together in-game footage with the re-edited cutscenes to fill in gaps in the movie. This sometimes makes for a bad transition between the two due to the obvious decline in quality between in-game and cinematic engines. In addition to this, all of these cut scenes are already on the theater mode on disc 1 upon completeing the game which makes this disc useless for many people.

So if you are someone who simply enjoys the games for what they are, this disc is not really all that necessary. However, if you are a die-hard fan, it is well worth the extra money as it really is a well-done movie overall.

As an added bonus, Existence also contains the amazing Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots trailer that played at TGS 2005. It looks absolutely amazing and shows off what the PS3 is capable of as it has been proven to be a real-time demo. I have seen this trailer far more times than I can count but I never cease to be amazed by it.
For me, the only thing to really complain about with this disc is that this is not a standard DVD so you have to play it on your PS2.

Disc 4 – Metal Gear Saga (Pre-order only)
This 28 minute documentary comes only with a pre-order. It is a retrospective and a look back at the entire Metal Gear saga from Metal Gear Solid 3 (The first in the chronological story) all the way to Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty. It also has interviews with Hideo Kojima where he states that all questions raised at the end of MGS2 will be answered in MGS4 which WILL be the final game in the series. This IS a standard DVD and can be played in any DVD player.

My only complaint with this one is that it is too damn short. However, for a free pre-order bonus, you cannot complain too much

So all in all, I am VERY happy with this purchase. It was well worth the money and I can see myself having fun with this for hours. If you never liked Metal Gear, this game will NOT change your mind. However, if you are a fan even in the slightest, you owe it to yourself to get this even if you already own Snake Eater.

4 stars out of 4

Blogspot is retired

The old blog at http://jakanden.blogspot.com/ is no longer going to be updated. All of the old posts will remain and perhaps I will export them and upload them here, but probably not.

I have purchased a new Domain and Hosting so I am waiting for that to go active and to set it up before I announce it. For right now, use this site =)